When Your Kid Gets Cut from the Team…

QUESTION:

My son worked out all winter and was even privately coached to prepare for his high school lacrosse team tryouts. He got cut from the team, and is devastated. My message to him of “hard work pays off” hasn’t worked in his favor. What can I tell him now?

ANSWER:

As a parent of two girls who played sports year-round, I know how hard this can be. As his parent, you gave him the opportunity to get better and to improve his skills. Go you! You should feel great about that. If I were you, I would encourage your son to think about what else he could have done to make the team and to remind him that even though he did not make the team this time he should not give up working to make the team the next time if that’s what he truly wants to do. Hopefully, if he was offered a spot on JV, he took it. It may not be varsity but it is a chance to continue to learn, grow and get in some playing time and show the coaches what he can do.

Like anything else in life there are many variables. Face it, in a place like Baltimore this game has its own set of politics. It may not have been solely because your son’s hard work did not pay off. Coaches cut for all kinds of reasons. Some want to give seniors more play time; others fixate on the abilities of a select few.

I would also remind your son that this is an opportunity to try something new and to maybe think about changing his dreams. Sometimes, hard work doesn’t work out in your favor and it hurts and can be humiliating – but that is life. This may be a chance for you to demonstrate to your son that even when you work very hard, sometimes things still don’t work out in your favor. That’s life and life is not always fair. We all have to learn how to lose. It builds character. The door may have closed this time, but another opportunity will surely come around.

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