The Blame Game

Hopefully I am not the only one who blames their kids for things that happen. Not big things, but significant enough to be problematic.

My youngest, Grace, pointed this out to me the other day when I blamed her for leaving the grocery list and the umbrella at home, and making a mess in my car. She likes to bring food (an omelet this time) and other meals along for rides. The next thing you know, the guy who cleans my car finds a fork on the floor and leaves it displayed on my front seat as if to say, “Look what I found. Yuck.”

And I secretly blamed her when I could not find my floss, my slip, my flip flops, my … everything.

Or she was taking too long and we were late getting somewhere.

Why do I blame her? Well, when my phone charger is missing, most likely it’s because she took it. She will admit to that. The other day my floss was missing. I found it in her bedroom. I also have had deodorant go missing, as well as my comb and brush.

There have been several mornings when I got into the shower and there was no shampoo, because it was guess where? Yes, in her shower.

I blamed her for not bringing the shopping bags to the store. But I am guilty of sometimes blaming her for things she doesn’t do.

Now I am now going to try to bite my tongue before I blame her, because assuming that she is guilty makes her feel awful. I am going to do my best to stop this. It is not a good mothering quality and I am sure it makes her feel badly.

In fact she tells me it is her pet peeve.

“The annoyance of the blaming is because there’s no possible way I could’ve done some of the things that you blame me for,” she says. “For example, you blame me for forgetting to put the garage door down. How could I know that I should remind you of that.”

“Either I haven’t seen or heard of what you’re blaming me for losing, or I know exactly what you did and how I wasn’t involved,” she continues. “But blaming me is just a coping mechanism for your shortsightedness.”

That was an honest assessment. Hmm, I will try to do better.

Take it from me. Don’t blame the children, unless they are guilty!

 

 

 

 

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